April 26th, 2011 by sixpegs

Forgetting is so long.

April 6th, 2010 by sixpegs

Read the rest of this entry »

January 30th, 2010 by sixpegs

I feel really awful now.
I feel so, so helpless.

Everything doesn’t look good.
I really want to make everything good.
I promised myself that I will work hard.
And I thought I have reached a fair and reasonable compromise with my younger brother.
But I am really disappointed in him.
I really am very, very disappointed.
And if I am already so upset, I cannot imagine how hard it will be for my parents -
how much more tears they have cried and pain they have felt whenever my brother disappoints us.

Sometimes when I want to make it work, I am utterly afraid.
Because I am really very tired and jaded.
I don’t want him to waste all the time and effort that he has put in for the last few years.
But I really don’t understand how should I do it.
And I don’t know what else to do.
I don’t understand him, as much as he doesn’t understand us.
We are really not asking for much.
Respect. Determination. Honesty. And the ability to differentiate right and wrong.
I believe if he wants to do it, he will definitely be able to do it.
In fact for someone as street-smart as him, he can achieve a lot more than what he has now.
All, if he would muster the courage and determination to make a change and put his heart into it.

Dad is not well too.
I went to a friend’s father’s wake last week.
And I felt really sorry for his loss.
We read about deaths and accidents on the newspaper everyday, but until it happens to us,
we’ll never be able to understand the grieve I guess.
Sometimes, I’d imagine what life would be like if my parents are not around anymore.
Just the mere imagination of losing them can leave me teary-eyed.
People always take too long to realize the importance of family.
Friends and lovers come and go, but it’s the family who will stick to you through thick and thin.
They are the ones who would do anything to make sure you are not hungry.
And they are the ones who truly hope that you will do well in life,
and have your own happy family in future as well.
“Blood is thicker than water”, they don’t say this for nothing.

I am not a good writer, sometimes I even have problems trying to express what I want to say.
But all I want to say is, it will never be too late to realize the importance of family.
And it is also never too late to realize our mistakes & to return to the right path.
It is okay to fall down and make mistakes.
The true test is whether you can pick yourself up to try harder.

Philson, if you are reading this, please bear what I told you in mind.
I may not be your best friend and I might not be the person who understands you best.
But I am your sister since 16 years ago and I will always be your sister until we leave this world.
We are all trying to encourage you and we all want the best for you.
Our parents are not the most eloquent people around, they don’t know how to tell you how they feel.
But they are always expressing their love in the most subtle ways -
like making sure you won’t go hungry, making sure you have enough rest before school,
waking you up at 7am every morning when they can actually sleep until noon,
giving you their trust and keep wanting to give you another chance,
keeping each and every birthday card or Mothers’ Day card from you deep in their bedside drawers.

Please do not say that you are not fit to be in this family.
If you are not fit, then no one also will be fit enough to take your place.
Because there is only one Philson and nobody can replace you in our hearts.
We have all tried and did our part to try to help you and encourage you.
But all these effort will go down the drain if you don’t want to make things happen.
Because ultimately, this life is yours.
And where this life will take you to in future, is all dependent on what you do now.
All these may sound far-fetched and distant to you now, but you will soon understand in time.
But you are a smart person & I am certain you will know what you should do now.
It really breaks my heart when you lie to me,
because I want to be the person you can talk to if you have problems.
I want to give you my trust, but you need to earn my trust through your actions.

Don’t bear grudges against your teachers in school or our parents when they scold you.
Like you, we are humans too. We get angry too.
And it is very upsetting and frustrating when you always let us down time after time.
And even more depressing when you choose not to give us your respect.
Like what I said, the best way to take revenge is to do well in school,
and show your teachers, and everyone else, that they were all wrong about you.

Everyone has problems.
And they won’t be called problems if they can be resolved easily.
I didn’t do well in school as well.
And I don’t want you to be on the same path as me because
it really is very lonely if you are still in school after your friends have graduated.
People might laugh at you, look down on you or make fun of you,
but don’t get mad.
Just make sure you do better than those people in life next time.
Then, they will laugh at themselves and look down on themselves the next time they see you again.

Let this be your final lap.
Finish it fast, finish it good.
Whenever you feel like giving up, or feel tired, look at this letter again to encourage

November 29th, 2009 by sixpegs

I came across this article few weeks ago and I felt the urge to share.
It is called “Terrorism that’s Personal” by Nicholas D.Kristof and was published in late 2008.

Everyone would probably see terrorism as a political act but who would have imagined
that it is also something affecting many women in Pakistan?

“But sometimes it

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