Siempre

February 18th, 2014 by sixpegs

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This is A. And my world revolves around her.

We have always talked about settling down together, and often dreamt about having a life together.
She can do the cooking, and I will do the dishes.
We could laze the Sunday afternoons away, or bathe our 4 cats and 3 dogs together.
We could volunteer and share our love with other people and animals.
We will grow The Tiramisu Hero together.
We will see the world and gain different life experiences hand-in-hand.

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It was 15th February 2014.
A asked me if I want to be married to her.

And I said ‘Yes’.

The ring was beautiful but it was nothing compared to what A has done to be part of my life.
In the ring, she had ‘siempre’ engraved.

Our relationship started out as something that was “wrong” on many levels.
And I faced pressure from not just my family and friends, but also from public scrutiny.
I thought I was pretty gutsy to just heck it and go ahead with my feelings.
But today, I gave my word and am now engaged to a girl.
I think my guts just got bigger.

Many friends and strangers came to congratulate me after they saw the brief mentions I put up
on Instagram and Dayre – platforms where my parents are not on.
I am really touched that there are many people who do not know me in real life feeling happy for me.
And for some weird reason, I can really sense their happiness for me!

A and I talked about our plans.
All of our friends said they would fly to wherever we are going just so that they could witness the two of us tying the knot. :p
And then came the parents.

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That was A peeking at my Mom, thinking about how she should break the news to her.

As much as I always talk about how supportive and open-minded my Mom is,
I have actually never ever told her directly about my relationship with A.
I always told myself that there is no need to do anything to jeopardise the stability we have now.
And well, I’m sure my Mom can see for herself.

It was a CRAZY day for A.
She couldn’t stop pacing up and down and she had THREE lunches that day because she was too nervous.
(Hahaha! Nervous eater.)

This was one of her attempts.

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After finishing the message, she stood there alone,
staring at my Mother with shifty eyes for a good 30 seconds,
and walked out of the cafe to throw the message away.

Hahaha.

Well.

Ultimately, we managed to break the news to my Mom.

Honestly, it has been a long time since I last seen A so nervous.
First time was when she first visited my place.
I think my exact words were
“Ma, we are thinking about getting married overseas. What do you think?”

My Mom gave us a cheeky/slightly bewildered slanted smile – almost like a smirk.
And then she settled herself mentally and was at a loss for words.

That short few seconds of silence was unbearable.

She asked if we have thought through this properly,
and asked if we have thought of the problems that might lie ahead of us.

It would just be the two of us for the rest of our lives, probably without children.
She asked us if we are certain if this is what we want -
to settle down and “not be (conventionally) married” in future.

I understand that Mom must definitely have some reservations.
It is not easy that she is the one answering to all my relatives and her friends and colleagues about me.

“I just want the both of you to be happy. That is most important,” she said.
A asked my Mom if she would give us her blessings.
And Mom smiled and nodded.

Later that night, A told me that she felt autistic and useless
because there is so much that she wanted to tell my Mom.
But her nerves got the better of her.

From A’s Dayre:

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One parent done. Three more to go. Wish us all the best! :)

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30 Responses to “Siempre”

  1. Alicia Says:

    Hi Peggy and A! I’m so happy, touched, thrilled and omg I can’t seem to put how I feel in words!!! While reading this entry of yours I actually cried! Hahahaha it’s so so so so so so so (as many times as I can ever type) touching to see how you both take another step further into the relationship! I am so proud and happy for you both!!!

  2. Jerica Says:

    Your mom is an amazing woman! As a mother, I think I can feel her… Something feels so right but seems so wrong at the same time… And the only thing the both of you can do to repay her is to be happily ever after… Congrats!

  3. Christina Says:

    Been secretly reading your blog for a long long ages but never comment before. This is the best post I ever read in your blog ! Really happy for you and hope one day I can do the same with my gf. Congrats !

  4. Kate Says:

    Oh god Peggy! When I read A’s post on daydream I felt so emotional out of a sudden! That A’s heartfelt words totally touched me. I wish that the both of you will have a happy and blissful marriage together! Way to go!

  5. Kate Says:

    *dayre sorry for the auto correction!

  6. Veronica Says:

    omg, congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys! All the best for your future!

  7. espenine Says:

    If you invite me to your wedding, I will also fly to anywhere to witness the union of both of you! :)

  8. X.W. Says:

    Hey Peggy & A! Congratulations!! Really really really happy for the both of you! Your love story is a very special one, one that inspires & outshines. (: Bountiful blessings to you both!

  9. Alicia Says:

    Hi Peggy and A, firstly, congratulations to the both of you!

    This is truly one of the most beautiful and lovely posts I have ever read thus far and I will share it around for sure! A joyful affair indeed.

    While reading your post, my tears were literally falling down unknowingly! Although I do not know the both of you but as a outsider and reader, I can feel the happiness and joy the both of you have :) My fiance and I have a close friend who recently got engaged with his boyfriend as well and we are so so so happy for them!

    I wish the both of you endless happiness and love as well! Here’s to a better life together with your love ones and TH! :)

  10. Maisy Says:

    Congrats! Wish u both success in getting all the ‘approvals’!

  11. Shey Says:

    Come to know both of you just today, and I love the you both!! My most sincere and warmest blessing to both of you. Happy ever after!

  12. Anon Says:

    Congratulations!! I’m in a girl-girl relationship too and we have also often talked about a future together; knowing that you and A are getting married is really inspiring to me (: I know married life will treat you two well because it’s clear how much you love each other!

  13. P Says:

    This post made me tear up.

    I am so happy for you and A. Have a blissful marriage & a wonderful life together. <3

  14. B Says:

    Hi Peggy, I just wanted to drop a note to thank you for your post. My girlfriend and I parted 2 months ago after 5 years together because I let her go. It got to a point where I was very tired of hiding; tired of the relentless questioning from my family and relatives. I love her very, very much – she’s my best friend, my favourite travel partner .. My mirror, sword, and shield in a nutshell. She begged me to not put my/her happiness in second place to my mom’s but I walked away. I have been curling up in pure sadness and defeat since then. Your post though, has led me to believe that there can be more and the key thing is to just keep trying and never give each other up. Therefore, I’ve gathered up the courage to text her and we will be having dinner tomorrow. Wish me luck! I’m very, very happy for you and I wish you and Aileen all the best from the bottom of my heart. Sending e-hugs and kisses for a fellow sister who is so much more courageous than I am. Lucks on breaking the news to the other 3 parents!

  15. CHICKYTHING Says:

    congrats!!! What did the word engraved on the ring meant? I was thinking it meant “of course”? At least in my native language :)
    Beautiful ring :)

  16. Michelle Lim Says:

    Hi Peggy,

    Congratulations on your engagement and I really feel happy for you.

    You dared to go for what you wanted and you firmly believed in every choices you make, Just like falling for A. :)

    I’m glad that your mom gave you her blessings which I know is hard to come by as many parents nowadays are still quite conservative minded.

    I wish you and A all the best and I can’t wait to see your wedding photos!! :)

    ♥MichelleLimSY

  17. R Says:

    Very happy for you that you have found happiness! And from someone who has followed you since before you were with Benjamin til now, we’ve really seen you grow, make decisions (good, bad, conventional and unconventional), and going through whatever you had, I really wish you all the best. Because you are now happy, and have some of the love where even conventional ones do not bring.

    Really happy for you, girl!

  18. Lyn Says:

    Congrats! Am really happy for you guys!

  19. Andrea Says:

    Congrats to you and A! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and your relationship with A brings me hope. Such love is rare and not easy to find. I feel truly happy and proud of you both! Years ago, I found her but in less than a year, she choose to back out due to social pressures. However her heart is being caught again by another girl. How contradicting. Anyways, continue to keep the love burning between you and A. It may be a tough road ahead but with your mum’s support, half the battle is done!

  20. ydae Says:

    Congrats, hang in there and have faith!

  21. Zoe Says:

    Congratulations! Love should never be confined by genders. Best wishes to both of you!

  22. karen Says:

    hi Peggy, so happy for you! But most importantly, thanks for putting your life up on the internet, I believed it has impacted alot of people (esp LGBT) people around. Without your blog, I’ve never really known any gay people getting married for real and didn’t know it would be possible. There are alot of ways to contribute back to the society and simply putting your life up front and open on the internet rim has probable helped alot people around :)

    All the best to you and A, may you two be together forever after. So happy for you :))))

  23. Carrot Says:

    brought tears to my eyes. congrats to the both of you :)

  24. Rena Says:

    Congrats!Yguys are truly sweet together! I’m a lesbian too and it really tugged at my heartstrings seeing such sweet couples together ! Best wishes to ya both! :)

  25. joy Says:

    i wish i could be brave like the two of you.

    you girls truly belong together. never lose the faith, stay close stay true, and never stop loving each other. :)

  26. jojo Says:

    dear peggy and A i actually teared reading this. i love how your love is and i love how A sees you and wants to give you. im actually jealous cas i dont think my bf soon to be husband feels that way or mayb he just never say! hahas you girls are perfect stay happy always ! and have a happy wedding!

  27. Tanya Says:

    Oh! Love is a beautiful thing. I wish you guys the best, and to keep it strong. :)
    On another note, I got proposed to on the exact same day. :)
    Cheers to us!

  28. Claire Says:

    Peggy and Aileen,
    This is so wonderful! My congratulations to both of you! I feel so silly being so elated for a couple who live on the other side of the world who I’ve never met, but the two of you seem like you were put on this earth to be together.
    With love,
    Claire

  29. laura Says:

    That is so sweet! Wish you two the best!!

  30. MiniVivi Says:

    Dear Peggy! Blessings to both of U!!! :D
    Go for your Dreams! All the Best!!! ❤

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