Dear NTU, enough is enough.
May 27th, 2010 by sixpegs
I am overwhelmed with emotions, emotions so strong that I don’t even know how to describe them.
There are so many things that I want to say and I really don’t know how I should begin.
Yes. Whenever I’m feeling like this, it’s always things pertaining to school.
Well, this time is no exception.
If you have read my blog long enough,
you would have probably seen many posts of me complaining about schoolwork.
And in many of these posts, I was crestfallen, dejected, and very very helpless.
This journey has really been too long.
I was enrolled into NTU in August 2004. To date, I have already been an undergraduate for a total of 6 years.
SIX LONG YEARS! If I was a smarty, I would have gotten a Masters degree by now.
This blog is really the place for me to pour my heart out every time I feel demoralized and hopeless.
I was jaded. I was doubtful of my own abilities and determination. And I was very, very tired.
School has never been easy for me.
Being enrolled into a course that I have no interests in was totally hell for me.
I used to think that I can pull through if I try hard enough, thinking that the course will actually grow on me.
But I was really very wrong.
I was a very lousy student in NTU. Academically, that is.
And with this adventurous and curious personality of mine, I ventured out to try many different things.
I guess they made things worse since I am the easily-distracted sort. My grades plummeted.
And I was often put on ‘academic probation’ & ‘academic warning’ statuses in the recent few semesters.
In the blink of an eye, 4 years passed.
As I see my comrades graduate, the best thing I can do is just to envy.
I regretted not trying my best in the past. And I made a pact with myself to study harder.
But this ‘pact’ thing happens at the start of every new semester, and it never lasts.
Halfway through the semester, I’ll find myself skipping lessons, missing my quizzes and even exams (!) etc.
To be honest, things are not easy at all after all my friends have left.
In fact, life in school got really hard for me.
I had no friends.
No study buddies. No lunch buddies.
I cruise around the corridors alone. I sit in lectures alone.
Very often, I would deliberately attend lectures a little late and sneak in through the back door so nobody would see me. And after the lessons were over, I would sneak off before anybody sees me.
There was one time when I chanced upon a forum where people are discussing about people in NTU.
Someone commented that Peggy Chang is that girl who “can’t study for nuts. Retained for so many years.”
I feel exceptionally self-conscious when I am in school.
I’m not exactly a very low profile kind of person in NTU and I know some people can recognize me.
Whenever I see people staring at me,
I would imagine them discussing among themselves about me – a loser who has been in NTU for 6 years!
I’m sorry. But I really cannot help it!
And it crushes me every time I think about it.
I became a different person every time I am in school.
I hate talking to people, and I would hide in inconspicuous corners whenever I have the chance to.
It has definitely affected my life as well.
I try to distant myself away from my friends. Why?
Because every time when we get together, they will talk about their work, how much they are getting, etc.
I subconsciously always feel very inferior when I’m seated there with them.
Of course, I am very happy for my friends.
But I just feel really uncomfortable caught in situations like that.
And these friends, because we weren’t really THAT close to begin with, will always tell me things like
“It’s okay lah! You have the rest of your life to work. No hurry really!”
“Working life sucks. Studying is so much better lor.”
Honestly, really?
Why don’t you try being retained for another two years before telling me this?
I know very well I’m just being plain over-sensitive sometimes.
On the other hand, there are people who really cared for me.
My family never gave up on me – supporting me semesters after semesters.
I always break down into tears whenever my parents sit me down to talk about my studies.
I really want to graduate, be a high-flyer, do fucking well in everything and make them proud.
But face it, I’m not that perfect daughter.
There was also my four lovely girlfriends who were always there for me.
When I received the news in January informing me that I have been expelled from NTU because of my poor grades,
I sat down alone at Starbucks in Northpoint for hours.
I was there because I didn’t want to be seen crying at home. I was really afraid!!
It was like a huge wake-up call, telling me “That’s it, Peggy! No more chances!”
Sindy was the one who comforted me when I needed a hug.
Homie (you know who you are) has always been very supportive too.
He is the one who would drive all the way to under my block to make sure I am okay.
He is the one who brought me out to “drown my sorrow” when I was feeling defeated.
I am thankful for all these friends who has always been there for me. I am so lucky to have you guys.
And of course, there is the one and only beloved boyfriend. :)
The one who would try all means to help me in my studies.
He bribed me, scolded me and challenged me in the hopes of seeing me graduate.
He is brutally honest with me. It really pisses me off at times! But I know he meant well.
I hate it whenever people tell me that I didn’t try hard enough.
It’s because these people can never understand what I am going through and what kind of person I am.
Well, but I guess all that reprimanding is good for me afterall.
Thank you dear Buttons for all your brutal lectures. Hahaha!
It’s not exactly my favourite way of receiving “encouragement”, but I guess reverse psychology works sometimes.
Thank you for not giving up on me, baby.
There were also many of you readers who saw me through my uni days, especially in the most recent 3 years.
You guys left so many encouraging comments for me.
Some even wrote me long, long emails to share their stories.
I read every single comment and email I receive because I really appreciate your effort.
It is such a lucky thing to be able to receive love from complete strangers. Thank you guys.
And after this 6 long years…
I did not pass with flying colours, but I have finally proven myself wrong.
I can really make it if I put my heart to it.
I can achieve anything I want, as long as I try hard enough.
I had 5 Fs and 1 C in the previous semester. Seriously, these grades are really good enough for me.
(You should really see my degree audit. Vomit blood!)
Looking back, I am having mixed feelings about this 6 years in school.
I learnt a lot definitely. I met many people. I encountered so many things and I have grown so much.
To be honest, I really still hate NTU very much!
But at the same time, I embrace it with love because this is also the place where I met so many great people.
Amidst all the unhappiness from schoolwork, I was once really happy here at NTU.
So, thank you too, NTU.
I can finally officially call the upcoming Japan trip my “Graduation Trip”! I am really overjoyed!!
Can’t even frigging describe how super happy I am right now! :D
I know I may have taken a longer route.
But to all those people out there who have once despised me, watch out.
I am just right behind you now and I will not hesitate to give a fucking hard kick on your ass!
Hehehehe! :p
- 90 Comments »
- Posted in Likes.
May 27th, 2010 at 6:58 am
CONGRATS Peggy!
Hope u enjoy ur Japan trip & buy more HELLO KITTYs!
:D
May 27th, 2010 at 7:12 am
Yo! It has been some time since I posted a comment here.
Really glad that you have finally gotten out of Pulau NTU as well.
So it is out to the working world officially and remember, do well as when you were for your last studying semester!
Jiayou! There are many people who are rooting for you and don’t ever let those mean comments put you down! You are much stronger than that!
Take care and probably catch with you when we are free!
Cheers!
May 27th, 2010 at 8:05 am
Hi,
Just a random blog reader. I too come from Civil but I did not continue from Uni. My results are bad, I managed to pass my diploma only. I understand how you feel. CONGRATS TO YOU!!~
It is not an easy route.
May 27th, 2010 at 8:24 am
hey peggy, have been a regular follower of yr blog. really glad to see that u have successfully grad from such a difficult degree, feel happy for u =) it’s really nice to see this entry, especially when im currently facing similar problems right now, but this is really quite a good encouragement for me, thanks! ^-^ enjoy yr trip! u will super enjoy it and cant forget it~
May 27th, 2010 at 8:44 am
CONGRATS, CONGRATS AND CONGRATS!! U’re great! :)
May 27th, 2010 at 8:58 am
You know, it is as if we followed you thru a difficult journey and finally see you thru.. I can’t describe how happy I am for you, which I believe many others, at this point, is a feeling shared by many too :)
Congrats Peggy! And the truth is, it was never the fact whether you were a smarty or not. You are definitely one, but just not the right course for you as a long the day, it had sprinkled too much fear in you (an escapist can see the traits of an escapist when she sees one hahaa.. esp when it comes to studies).. that you lost the belief. the belief that you could do it.
academics do not truly reflect how intelligent you are, so don’t take that away from yourself, cos you are.
hereonforth, I wish you the very best :)
May 27th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Congrats!
You’ve done yourself Proud!
Not everyone has to take the conventional route, the sky is the limit.
Look forward and go forward.
Have a great Graduation trip in Japan!
May 27th, 2010 at 10:07 am
Hey peggy, I can relate to how it feels like being slower than others. After all, I repeated my O’s 3 times! 3 times can you believe it? I’ve been called all kinds of names. Stupid, brainless… etc
What really helped me get through the ordeal were my wonderful family and friends. Through this I managed to sieve out true friends who love me for who I am as an individual, not because of some god damn grades.
When I made it into university, people were filled with sarcastic congratulary remarks. “Wow, you actually made it to uni after failing your O’s?”
Sigh, but I’m in a predicament now. I can safely conclude I’ve more or less flunked 3 out of 4 modules for my past exam.
Maybe I wasn’t cut out to study?
Ah sorry this turned out to be a rant.
May 27th, 2010 at 10:20 am
congrats peggy!! :) ‘tie bang mo chen zhen’. admire your courage and preserverance to overcome the odds and emerge victorious! well done gal:D! civil was a tough 1 anyway :p unlike me after 1 sem of building in poly and sup paper failed, i switched course liao.
May 27th, 2010 at 11:13 am
CONGRATS on your graduation! I can understand exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing when i was in poly, i spent so many nights crying myself to sleep but im glad i didnt gave up. I thought i wouldnt make but still i manage to graduate from poly. now im doing my degree. Its not a smooth sailing journey.
May 27th, 2010 at 11:48 am
Woohoo!!! Congrats! U’ve made it, Peggy!
*pat on your back* =)
And i like this
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I try hard enough.”
Now the next step, finding a good job and wedding bells ringing?! =X
haha.. enjoy your japan trip!
May 27th, 2010 at 11:50 am
CONGRATS, PEGGY! i’ve just finished my final year exams yest. Cross my fingers that i can graduate too. Like you, i retained 2 years. But I’m older than you. :( whatever it is, congrats and i hope your journey to the working force will be a great one! *hugs* (pls screen my comment. Thanks)
May 27th, 2010 at 11:54 am
peggy! haha you’re so frigging honest bout your life! and tt’s why i’m an avid follower of sixpegs!
reeeally happy for u tt u’ve graduated!
so tt’s BYEBYE NTU ‘n HELLO JAPAN! :)
stay strong as always!
May 27th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Congrats Peggy!
You have done well :) enjoy your trip.
May 27th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Hi Peggy!
I am really happy for you, my senior!
No one is perfect, but with such determination you have, I am sure you will do well for your future endeavours. (:
AGG
May 27th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
awwww!!! peggy!! u know i totally understand how u feel la! i m like retaking a 6 month course, where all my course have graduated! it feels really terrible, when i know seriously no one in school, and worst, i change class everyday! even i tried to be cool with my whole “retaking” of modules thing, but deep down, i m still really really really sad over this. who do not want faster get out of school?! going to school everyday is tutoring, yes, i m always a art student, and i m studying a engineering course! its absolutely a torture, and i had to travel 1 hour to my school!!! and a part of me just cant afford myself to even dress lousy for school, cos they are so judgmental and most of them reads my blog!
gosh! sorry to blah so much here, i just had so much feelings when i m reading this post of yours. its been 2 years, i m reading your blog, aware of your school issues! been rooting for u! always secretly know that u could make it! seriously!! and now u did!!!
totally happy for you!!!
u deserve this! you should totally go celebrate this!!! hope to see you on nicole’s bday and omy’s bog award ceremony!! come yeah! so we could catch up!!
May 27th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Congratulation!!! Feel really happy for you. You seriously deserve a pat on your shoulder ;)
May 27th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
super like this post!
May 27th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Hi there. same as you, i came from ntu. i understand how you feel as i often spent time alone in the campus wandering and hiding.
not really sure if its my problem but i hate ntu. the lucky thing is i managed to get out of the school as soon as possible and got my real freedom last year.
congrats on your graduation. its really a new beginning once you get out of ntu so do enjoy your new beginning.
all the best!
May 27th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
pass with flying colours is not necessary.i think most important is the attitude and your own personality towards your commitment to your workplace.although pass with flying colours but some company rather do not shortlist ppl who has flying colours because they feel that they will be demanding and won’t work long.
It’s just a paper to prove that you are a graduate or so called stepping stone.
Thus,wishing u all the best!!
i’m finding job now and i’m facing such prob and it proved that pass with flying colours does not mean u can get a good job..
May 27th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
SIXPEGS. Congrats!!!
Although you’ve taken an awfully long route to complete this race, you’ve proven yourself that you’re capable of finishing what you’ve started. I’m SUPER PROUD of you :) No more lamenting on how screwed up you feel about your studies anymore..
As for me, I’m still waiting for my results. If all is well, we will be graduating at the same time. LET’S TAKE GRADUATION PHOTOS TOGETHER!
Meanwhile, let’s meet up soon with Denys & have a celebratory feast/drinks session before you head to Japan for your “graduation trip”?
May 27th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
congratulations peggy :) you definitely have done your loved ones proud :)the journey starts here, unemployed & to seek a job. JIAYOU babe :D
May 27th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Been reading your blog for a while. It is good to hear this great news ! Happy for you ! It must be a great “release” for u . Stay cheerful and Congrats !
May 27th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Ah pegs! Congrats on graduating!
It was a tad sad reading the post, but im glad it ended happy!!! (: Enjoy the well deserved Japan Trip!
See you soon!
May 27th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
me also loner in school!!! why we so sad ah? but on the bright side, you graduate already! i’ve got 2 more lonely years in sch :(
May 27th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Hi Peggy, really glad that you have graduated. Yes you may have struggled in these 6years but mayb i tink aft this you may have understand more of yourself(character etc) while ur in those horrible situations. All of us are definitely good in some things and not so in others. Perhaps you think that you are horrible in most/all things( i hope not!) but frm wat i read in ur blog, u r definitely gd in many things that mayb u yourself have not realised.
One of the most important strength that you have to me is that you have brought joy to your loved ones ard you. Im sure life is not a bore to them as you brought a spark to their lives. this explained why so many of them stand by you when you are down. Like you said, you know many people and mayb you can claim alot of them as your “friends”. But to me, only those that stand by you thru trying times are the True ones. We need not many friends, we only need 1 or 2 in life.. and frm wat i see, you have more than that. you should b proud gal!! N that is definitely one of your strength!=)
Im sure those 6yrs must feel like eternity to you. Like you, i also struggled through my studies in NUS.. so i can somehow understand wat you have been through. But you know wat? ITS OVER!!!!!! so banish those unhappy thoughts and look forward. Don let negativity control n wreck havoc to your emotions again! Of course you may feel insecure now or mayb don noe wat to do now that you have graduated. Take your time..=) to me it is pointless to compare yourself to ur peers. Instead, mayb tink of wat is ur passion in life and wat you really wanted to do and start frm there. Of cos..easier said than done since we are born in this cty where the “achieve” culture is embedded into us. But im sure in time to come, with your love ones supportin you, you wil finally know how to go on frm here. =)
In the meantime, ENJOY ur GRADUATION TRIP!! You Deserve it gal! throw all worries behind and play like nobodys’ business becos u EARNED it..=)
I salute you for your peserverance and persistance as not many people will be able to achieve what you have acheved after all that you have gone thru. Hm.. thats another of your strong pt!!! =)
May 27th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Congrats on graduating!
Enjoy your graduation trip! :)
May 27th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Congrats! All the best in your future undertaking!
May 27th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Hi peggy,
Have been reading your blog since your ‘hey gorgeous’ days!
Just want to tell you, you are really brave!!
CONGRATS upon your graduation and I am sure your never say die spirit will lead you to EXCEL in life!
you go girl!
All the best (:
May 27th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
congrats peggy! im super anxious and worried about getting my results soon, from nus btw. i totally understand your situation cos my results pretty sux as compared to my friends and all i hope is to be able to pass. so once again, congrats n enjoy your japan trip! i want to go to japan too!
May 27th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
CONGRATS!!! :D Graduation is always that much sweeter!
May 27th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Happy for you! At least you have not let down the people who love you and helped you. :D
May 27th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
congratulations! it must have been hell! smu was hell for me as well and i really can’t imagine the pain you suffered having to endure an extra 2 years! i really admire your honesty on your blog too! chin up and be proud of yourself because you pulled through and never gave up in such a crappy environment :) enjoy your trip!
May 27th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
am crossing my fingers now as i would be receiving my final semester results next wk!
but just want to tell you that whatever you do, you do it for yourself, but not for others to see or judge. rejoice when you achieve what you have set for yourself!
so you should celebrate and be happy cause you have finally done what you have wanted to do. screw those people who judge you. just be true to yourself :)
congrats once again!
May 27th, 2010 at 11:57 pm
dear peggy,
i went through a similar experience in ntu. also in engineering. so i understand that it is really tough. it was really difficult to stay positive and really heart breaking when you really really try and the grades still turn up like that. your posts have been fun and cheery. i never expected that you went through something like that.
congrats on your graduation. enjoy your trip loads. please post lots of pictures. =D you’re a spunky and beautiful girl so go charm their socks off at the interview.
all the best for job hunting. i’m really happy for you. =)
May 28th, 2010 at 12:19 am
Congrats Peggy!!! though we don’t know each other but like the rest, i feel equally happy for you! a pity i wasn’t from NTU, else i’ll love to be your friend! (:
love how u’re so brave and honest to share every bit of your life with complete strangers. (this is something i really admire). it’s really not easy to take a longer route and facing it alone cause seriously no one else can understand. but you made it! (:
u’re my inspiration to graduate next year!!! Jia You Peggy, you’re awesome! (:
May 28th, 2010 at 12:54 am
Congrats Peggy (:
Was in choir for one module together with you and really would have stepped up to say hi, but didn’t really dare to!
I’m happy that you have done it.
BIG CONGRATS!
May 28th, 2010 at 12:55 am
hey
congrats peggy !! i really feel happy for u !!!
May 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
the bottom line, i felt, was ur sheer determination to keep pushing on. i am not too sure if i would have the same determination if i were you.
congratulations peggy! and thank you for the entry. im moving on to the next study phase in my life and this is indeed encouraging. (:
All the best!
May 28th, 2010 at 10:52 am
Congrats! You must be feeling great right now! Being a reader of yours for the past years i feel so happy for you! All the best n screw those who have looked down on u!
May 28th, 2010 at 11:13 am
congratulations peggy!! (:
this entry brought me hope for myself.
May 28th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I agree..it’s just a paper. Although it might be a little hard for you when you find your first job. But i believe it is your determination and how you perform at work. After you started working, they wont really look at your piece of paper anymore. Good luck ;)
May 28th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
I don’t know you, but I think the experiences in NTU will make you stronger to face the future. Congrats, fellow alumnus :)
May 28th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Hi Peggy, Congrats! :D
May 29th, 2010 at 12:11 am
congrats peggy! i’m proud of you!
May 29th, 2010 at 12:12 am
congrats peggy! it took me 5-yrs to finish my undergrad degree as well, so i can kindda relate.
your future awaits! go get’em all! =D
May 29th, 2010 at 1:18 am
I’ve been a silent blog reader but this time, I just want to say that I am really happy for you. Congrats!
May 29th, 2010 at 1:27 am
Congrats, peggy. it isn’t easy, but it’s over! gong xi gong xi! play hard now! Have a great trip to Japan, it’s gonna be a joyful season and month of celebration!! :D
May 29th, 2010 at 5:55 am
Congrats Peggy! I’m happy for you! All the best for your future endeavors! :)
May 29th, 2010 at 7:49 am
Peg, why didnt you switch out of ntu during the 6 years? I am currently facing the exact same situation with you at NTU, I am considerating to quit actually. I really cannot decide, please kindly advice. Hope you will reply to my mailbox
May 29th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Well done~!!…U been doing good…~!!…and now it is the time to realli play hard~!!…enjoy ur trip…and may you get the job that u wanted…^^b…ALL THE BEST~!
May 29th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Congrats! Very happy for you. I almost cried while reading your 6yrs journey in NTU.. I understand how it feels like but its all over now!!! :)
May 29th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
congrats on your graduation!
just curious, you mentioned that you were expelled by NTU in january. how did the graduation come about then?
May 29th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
congrats but why didn’t you switch courses since you hated engineering that much?
May 29th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Congrats. So happy for you. Finally u see the light at the end of the tunnel. and it will be VERY BRIGHT from now on!!!
May 29th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
dear peggy…
as a daily reader of ur blog…
congrats upon ur graduation… and i really peifu ur endurance of these 6years…
as i believe many of us would had give up half way…
sending my blessing hope u find a job that u like n dun suffer in silent anymore… stay happy n have fun in japan…
May 29th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
hey peggy,
i, too, went thru a slightly longer route, only 1 more sem, but i was sooooo upset and was ultra-sensitive to what others were saying about me. but i guess i’m luckier in the sense i didn’t have to go to sch during that 1 sem (i re-did my practicum)….
but guess what? i’m happier than most of my peers now. from that ‘episode’, i knew who my ‘real’ friends were – those who stood by me and gave me constant encouragement. those who pretended not to know me, or talked abt me behind my back (i have ‘spies’), i’ve kicked them outta my life. never felt better!
May 29th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
oops, forgot to say this..
CONGRATS! on ur graduation & on leaving that god-damn hell hole! :P Enjoy Japan!
May 29th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Congratulations Peggy! =D
May 30th, 2010 at 1:00 am
Hey Peggy! I understand how you feel cuz im stuck in uni too…! :( But nevertheless, i chanced upon this quote recently, ‘Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising every time we fail’, it sort of motivated me back again!~ :) Congrats!
May 30th, 2010 at 2:01 am
PEGS!
CONGRATS!!!!!!!
When I started reading this entry, I thought what happened!
You gave me a scare!
haha….
Happy for you!
Hey, just kick and stuff stupid comments away, ok?
Never ever gonna let comments like those pull u down.
Nevertheless, I am damn happy for u! hahaha… can’t stop repeating. =)
*HUGS!*
Now, go for something you enjoy most!
ALL THE VERY BEST!!!!
*LOVESSSS* =D
May 30th, 2010 at 2:18 am
I have read all your struggles to get where you are today, CONGRATULATIONS!
There is not one person who has not failed once in their lifetime, the difference is people who succeed know:
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.” – Denis Waitley
As you go forward in your journey, remember it is impossible to stop people from being myopic so:
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain
We cannot all be poets but we can the poem. I wish you the very best of who you can be.
“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Kahlil Gibran
May 30th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Jenna – don’t let what other people say affect you. O’levels happened so long ago! I know people who flunk their Olevels but are doing really well now! There are also people who used to be really good academically in the past, and now, they’re just so-so. So please don’t let those comments get to you. Just listen to yourself. Do you want to graduate? If so, do it! I’m sure you can dear. I’m sure you’ve just been distracted for the last semester or so. Don’t give it!
Bri – well good for you! I’m sure you were much happier after you’ve switched course. It takes a lot of courage to switch courses and start from scratch too! I applaud your courage. I didn’t have that kinda balls in the past lol.
Noodlemonster – congrats on you graduating from poly. I’m sure if you bring on that kind of determination and willpower you had in poly, you’ll do just as well in university.
Yutaki – I know how you feel. Don’t let it get the better of you. Just shut them off if required. All the best! And yes, catch up soon!
Onefourever – thank you. And I wish you all the best in your jobhunting too!
Michelle – Hey love, thanks! I’m sure you’ll do well also dear. I’m sure! Heh! And yes we’ll have drinks before my trip. We’ll meet up soon okay!
Jayne – two years will be over before you know it! Hang in there!
Ozy – indeed. This turmoil showed me who the true and good friends are. And there is only that few good friends I really need. Thanks for your well wishes, ozy.
Ame – all the best to your results too!
Linjie – thanks. And I am really happy I didn’t let those who loved me down too.
Cherry – I’m sure you will do well. All the best to your results, cherry!
Melissa – aww! I am really glad I inspired you! All the best Melissa. I’m sure you will graduate on time next year!
Angie – you’re not to blame. I think I look too aloof and unfriendly in school. Natural defence mechanism. Haa!
GEM – I’ll email you okay?
Prissy – awwww I hope I didn’t make you cry! Haa!! Thanks so much for your well wishes!
Anon – I was expelled in January. They call it “declined readmission”. I had to go to my mentor in school and do up an appeal for them to take me in for another semester. And as part of the appeal, I had to write down my goals for the coming semester, how to make sure I can attain appropriate academic standing again, how to make sure I will keep up with work, etc. on top of that, I also need to state why I didn’t do well in the past semesters. And buttons also stepped in and wrote part of the appeal, stating that he will do his part as a friend to support me through this period. It really wasn’t easy. And it was a terrifying experience to write the appeal itself. I am really glad I made it. Are you that anon who always leaves crappy and unconstructive comments btw? If so, I just wanna let you know that you’ve fucking annoying. Sorry if you’re not.
Mj – I wanted to switch courses at year two. But at that time, I was in a dilemma. Switching courses takes a lot of courage as well. Giving up 2 years worth of time, and starting from SCRATCH in a new course. And there is also no guarantee that you will definitely love that new course you’re signing yourself up for. There are a lot of uncertainties. In the end, I decided to just hang in there and try to finish up my course. And after the two years, we weren’t allowed to switch courses anymore because in year 3 and final year, if one were to switch courses, the tuition grant by government won’t be given anymore. Yup.
Renee – I’m really happy to hear that about you too. Do you now I did my practicum twice also? I am really typically the kind of person who learns her lesson the hard way. Tsk tsk tsk. Anyway, I failed the first practicum with an F, btu the second time, I got an A. lol! Drastic much. But yeah, super glad it’s all over!!!
Juliette – way to go!!
Eileen – I can feel your happiness for me! Heh! Thanks so much Eileen!
Auntie E – oh my god I didn’t know you read my blog! Wish my aunties are as funky and tech-savvy as you! Haha. Thanks so much for your well wishes and those wise words, Auntie E. Hope Ben and I have the time to visit you in US soon! :)
TO ALL THE REST WHO LEFT A COMMENT:
BIG THANK YOU! And I’m really glad you guys even took the time to leave me a “congratulations!” Heh! Especially to those who left me countless comments when I’m all emo nemo about school, I’m really grateful and happy to have you virtual friends in my life! Hahahaha. The future is boundlessly bright! Whoohoo! All the best to all you guys out there too! :D
May 30th, 2010 at 6:38 am
Funky? LOL… I don’t know about that but how else do I keep up with you young ones. Looking forward to seeing the both of you.
Love to the both of you ;)
May 30th, 2010 at 10:18 am
totally feel this post from ur heart. teared much.
thanks pegs ure such an inspiration! if i were you i would have already dropped out of the school. gonna bookmark this post! ;)
May 30th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
yay im so happy for you!!! :) :) :)
don’t be hard on your friends for saying “It’s okay lah! You have the rest of your life to work. No hurry really!”
“Working life sucks. Studying is so much better lor.” I think they’re just trying to make you feel better, and personally i can’t think of a better way.
Congratulations! :) i hope you work even harder to catch up with everyone else!
May 30th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
hey there,
finally you graduated. I totally can understand how you feel. i was extemely upset too when i first failed my 2nd year stats module. Not being able to be in the same class as my close friends i felt like shit too. hAHAS… well it doesnt matter how long you stayed or repeat the modules, as long as you finally managed to completed it do your best. Well, everything is all over now. Im proud of you! (: Im sure you will do well in your future career and dont let those pple look down on you. You’re a NTU graduate! (: Btw when you go tokyo, can you take as many pics of the placeslike how to get to the places from ur hotel etc. or from the airport? coz in sep i will be going to tokyo, maybe staying in the same hotel too so i need some guide and references of how to get there. thanks. (:
May 30th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
Hello babe!
i do not usually leave comment for someone i dont know. But i’m feeling so glad for you! I admire your honesty about everything you went through. Congrats for the graduation! I understand how difficult it is to graduate, for i went through the hardships of uni life too. Kiss goodbye to student life and look forward to your next phase in life! =)
May 31st, 2010 at 12:03 am
I read ur blog for quite sometime and an avid reader for now I must say!Well done Peggy. Y’know, sometimes it does not matter how long or how old it takes, its the perserverance and YOU MADE IT!!That’s all you should remember. :O)
May 31st, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Congrats to you Peggy! We do not know each other, but i have been reading your blog religiously. Am really very very happy that you have graduated. Best of luck in everything. :)
May 31st, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Hi peg,
I have been yr silent reader for so many years and this is the very first time i left a comment for you because i cried while reading yr post! I have seen you a couple of times (during comex while you are modelling for Sony, at West mall, etc), I wanted to walk up to talk to you but guess i was too shy!
Im so touched and envy yr braveness for being able to spell out every single little things that others may feel ashamed to tell anyone, but you managed to spill it all out. While reading your post, i reflected how my bf and friends helped me to overcome the most difficult stages of my life too…
I saluate yr never give up spirit and guess what! Life is gonna to be better………. muacks and cheers.
May 31st, 2010 at 3:28 pm
babe, you make me proud. my bf is struggling in the SAME course as you and it looks like he will go through 6 years too. BUT, u give me hope. i’m proud of you babe :)
May 31st, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Congrats, congrats, and congrats.
And while you are rejoicing, please be reminded that this is only the beginning. The real world awaits you.
Of course, do not let that deter you from the current celebrations :)
May 31st, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Auntie E – It was nice talking to you the other day, Auntie E! :) Hope to see you soon!
sigh – thanks dear. :) I’m glad it encouraged you in a way as well. Jiayou!
theresa – yeah now when I think about it, I guess I was too hard on everyone else around me as well. Thanks Theresa.
Amanda – thanks dear. And no problem at all, I’ll take more pictures when I’m in Tokyo. And I’ll post up my full itinerary before I go too. I did quite a lot of research and I hope it’ll be helpful to the rest of you guys who are going there in time too. :)
Ade – thanks so much for your comment and well wishes!
CT, Jessica – thanks!!! :D
Jo – Well, I’m not very proud of my track records too, to be honest. But.. I am proud that I decided to hang in there and made it ultimately. There are many other people who are going through the same thing (if not worse) than me. And I have seeked comfort and they have given me a lot of encouragement also. They are also my motivation. I hope my graduation can give hope to all those who are “almost there” too. :)
debx – hey girl, I’m sure your bf will make it too. With your support, it will definitely be a strong driving force behind him. have faith!
ivan – thanks, thanks and thanks. :p I know, the road ahead is gonna be more challenging! I hope I’ll be able to rise to the occasion. :) Thanks for your well wishes!
May 31st, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Hi Peggy, this is the 3th time i visited your blog, and chanced upon this entry.
Do you know this sounds like me too, you are lucky to have people out of NTU to support & love you! For me, it seems both school & outside seems like zero. Going to school alone, skip lunch because i’ve got no lunch buddies. Sometimes i wonder what life am i in exactly that i’d no one, always alone to everywhere. Thank god that i’d my family perfectly no problem though :)
And of course, grats for you! Take care!
May 31st, 2010 at 5:22 pm
thank you for your comment, serene.
well, all i can say is. it is very hard going through everything alone. it really is!
i’m happy that you have your family with you. to be honest, they are the most important people that one can have.
don’t hesitate to talk to them if you need support.
bottling up all your emotions and feelings will do you no good.
but that aside, i’m sure you’ll be able to make it out of school too, if you want it hard enough! :D
all the best serene!
May 31st, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I have a couple of friends who did the “7-year Long Service Award” for CSE degree and another Accountancy grad who took 5 years.
Technically speaking, you did better than them. So, if all of them are doing well in their respective lives, I’m sure you’d do fine too.
Congrats on your grL24Y9aduation.
May 31st, 2010 at 6:38 pm
hahaha thanks Jay. :) What’s L24Y9 btw?!
May 31st, 2010 at 8:33 pm
hi peggy,
I totally understand and feel about your situation. i’m currently in NTU too, and facing the exact situation as you too. I’m thinking of changing course, else quit school. I can’t decide, i dont know how to go about writing the appeal letter. i’m currently under acad warning and probation too. hopefully, you will reply to my mailbox and help me with some advice (: thanks!
May 31st, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Peggy,
Similarly, I managed to graduate this semester too and guess what? My CAP is 2.01, just a mere pass to be awarded the arts degree. Just a little below, I would be expelled too. This was my last chance from the uni too.
I worked hard in the final sem and had gotten all B- for my modules. I felt so much of my emotions mirrored to that of yours. Especially the alone lunches, shunning of ppl etc. It’s really good to see the PASS word on the screen. I bet you must have also unraveled the grades one by one with so much anticipation and trepidation!! My bf has been very supportive of me, and this time, just over the phone, he was so happy for me that he offered readily saying that I could get whatever I want, and he’s materializing the overseas Japan trip too..the very much long-awaited graduation trip. Just like you, I’m so happy to be able to term the trip as a “graduation trip”. Actually, to see him so worried and constantly egging me to check the results rather overwhelmed me. To reward me, he even offered to give me unlimited budget to spend this GSS. I’m feeling so glad to have met him. I believe Buttons must have felt so glad & happy for you too!!
It’s going to be a brand new chapter from now on. No more dreaded university days!! Another milestone of life: the working society.
I hope things would be smooth-sailing for you in the near-future, especially finding the right job for your personality too.
THOUSAND OF SMILES FOR US FOR GOING THRU THIS HURDLE
:) :) :)
IT’S A MUST TO ENJOY YOUR JAPAN TRIP!
Fellow commiserator,
MM
June 1st, 2010 at 12:39 am
hello peggy!!!
i felt really touched reading this entry. congrats on your graduation and good luck with the next phase of life=)
June 1st, 2010 at 9:18 am
L24Y9 is me entering the captcha code without realising that the cursor is in the wrong text box.
Paiseh. Paiseh.
June 1st, 2010 at 1:36 pm
恭喜。:) 一路走来不容易，当中的心酸和流过的泪就只有自己懂。走过了，你也更坚强了。:) 能咬紧牙根去面对上学时的孤独已经很了不起了。:) 还有接下来的未来在等着你。加油！:)
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:51 pm
hi peggy,
i totally feel you. sometimes its seems like despite all the encouragement that you get from your lovely friends, deep down you still feel that you’re going through this alone. you’ve got to tell yourself not to look back to prevent yourself from breaking down once more, and look forward to the next sem. as easy as they say, as hard as shit. but well, good thing you’ve graduated :) as for me, im still struggling. in my 5th year for my PT degree and just got a warning letter. so much for doing a course which i don’t even like.
welcome to the working world. go out and kick some ass :)
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:58 am
Babe, congrats to u for finally getting out of school!!! YAY!!! Must have been one tough journey for u man but glad that u have ur family and friends for support along the way!
I’ve also graduated, like finally! Feeling your joy :)
Now we can proudly say we are a graduate!! Wee~~
June 4th, 2010 at 2:06 am
haha congratz fellow NTU-ster! ya when u stay long enough, NTU will get a little too bored .. =/ haha but hey no more worries! time to worry for job job job =.=
June 5th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Hello Peggy! I thought you were joking when you told me in Insomnia that you didn’t have friends in NTU cos I thought you’re one of the most lovable girls I’ve ever met!
Anyway, I’m so glad you’ve graduated! You proved your detractors wrong and you ought to be very proud of yourself! It’s been a long and tough journey but you made it and that’s cause for celebration =)
June 6th, 2010 at 1:29 am
Congrats girl!!! :)))))))
June 14th, 2010 at 2:28 am
hiz, well at least u have things to do in sch. i grad from comms in nus- on time even, it had been a year but till now i have not found a job. depend on my parents to pay loan, fees etc. at least u go for whatever interview and they dun mind hiring u. since u give up on the job, if there is anything non-engin related,let me know yah? thanks
June 22nd, 2010 at 8:09 pm
hey peggy! i understand how you feel. im still in the same situation. i study overseas and i really hate it. i know im v lucky to have this opportunity but honestly, all i want to do is to catch the next flight home. i miss my bf, family and friends. i dont know anyone here at all…and its alr been a year. i feel so depressed.
i just go to school and then come home or study by myself. i hate the uni and i hate the people here.
So your story really touched my heart, know that you are not alone. thank you for being so open and sharing it with us, it really made me feel better to know im not alone and im so happy for you – congrats on graduating and even finding a job! ALL THE BEST!!! Go kick some ass!